Is this really the same girl?

As I was reading the blog of a family currently traveling in Ukraine, I tried to remember all the things we were doing last year at this time to get ready. Wow! There was a lot of paperwork and running around. I noticed on my timeline that on October 23, 2009 we received an email with the subject line "a girl" and two attached photos. You cannot pre-select a child before you go to Ukraine to adopt, unless there are special circumstances, but this was someone our facilitator had encountered on his travels. He and the orphanage director had a conversation about our family and thought she might be a good fit. Little did we know that hers would be one of the files presented to us at our SDA appointment. God knew.

Looking at the group photo, I know where Rebecca (top left... at that time known as Valentina) is, but I wonder about all her classmates. We got to know most of them during our visits and I still wonder if they have also found families or if they are still waiting...

If you're interested, I bet I know someone who could find out... and get you updated photos. (Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge.)

7 months home

Disclaimer: I really did start writing this update in July. Life is busy… it’s the summer… school starts on Monday. Please forgive any measures of time that aren’t exactly perfect. I think you’ll still get the point. As of August 31st, we will have been home for 8 months.

It doesn’t seem real that at this time last year Dan and I were mulling over photos and Facebook posts about a friend’s mission trip to Ukraine. She’d been before… we’d seen the pictures. What was different this time? God was calling us. I distinctly remember talking with her on the phone on July 20th, 2009. On August 22nd, we had the first interview for our home study. The next few months seemed like a whirlwind of never ending paperwork, phone calls and running each day from one government office to the next and then, before we knew it, we were packing and leaving. I’ll spare you all those details, especially since you’ve heard them before, and move on to the update. Yes, you’re right, this update is long overdue. I actually do have some pretty good reasons (besides the obvious two very involved kids and the accompanying dog) why I decided not to blog frequently. If you’re really curious, drop me a note and I’ll be happy to explain it to you.

For the short version readers: Rebecca has adjusted amazingly well since arriving in the US on December 31st, 2009. She’s doing well in our family and is becoming a true American girl – her favorite store is Target and she wants a red car for Christmas. (Please don’t burst her bubble and tell her about the Matchbox Dad is likely to buy!)

For the long version readers: It’s amazing to me to look back at the early photos we took of Rebecca and see how much she has changed. Like any child, it’s less obvious when you are with them every day, but she is growing and changing. Since arriving home on New Year’s Eve, she has gained more than ten pounds and grown over two inches taller. At that point, she probably knew 15 English words, and most of those were the numbers 1-7 and the four colors needed to play Uno. I remember shortly after coming home listening to a friend talk about her two little girls and how they would talk her ear off. I also remember thinking that would be amazing. Even when Rebecca did talk to me, I didn’t usually get the whole conversation. I’m pleased to report that is no longer a problem. If you give her a few minutes to get to know you, she WILL talk your ear off… and you’ll probably understand most of what she’s trying to tell you. (I called my mom one day to ask her if I "made her ears tired" when I was a little girl. Her answer was an enthusiastic yes. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose.) Rebecca's academic language development (reading comprehension, etc.) is a bit further behind her spoken language, but considering she just learned the English alphabet 7 months ago, she’s really doing very well. She spends time reading each day (sometimes on her own and sometimes out loud to Timothy) and also doing some type of language practice. (I know what you’re thinking… you’re glad your mom wasn’t a teacher and you didn’t have to spend your summers that way!) We work on math, too, trying to reinforce the concepts she knows and build on things that were not previously taught… like logic and multiplication. It’s not always fun, but Rebecca is a hard worker and very, very smart. We have no doubt that she’ll catch up to her classmates with time. Since I wrote those lines, we’ve added division to the skills Rebecca is learning. We also met her 5th grade teacher last night. The teacher has spent the past few years teaching reading and language arts at a private school… there are no coincidences in life.

Socially, it has been really fun to watch Rebecca develop and flourish. She and Timothy weren’t sure what to think of each other at first, understandable since she didn’t speak English and he doesn’t speak at all, but they have come to enjoy each other. A few weeks ago, one evening when he was being very quiet, Rebecca came to me and told me Timothy was sad. I’m not really sure he was sad, more likely recovering from a seizure, but she made it her goal to make him happy. She stood next to his bed, lowered the bed so they were face to face, and offered him toys, music and books until she coerced a smile from him. Then, not only did he smile, but he squealed with delight as they enjoyed reading his favorite story together. One day, after we dropped him off at summer school, she told me she wanted to “stay at school with Tim tomorrow so she could help him.” So sweet. It wasn’t a passing thought, either. She asked again that evening as she went to bed and a few times the next week if she could go with him. Nope, sorry. The school said, “no.”

Groups of kids are Rebecca’s forte. She was anxious to start school in January and did so with gusto. Her 4th grade teacher was truly phenomenal and frequently reported how well-liked Rebecca was by her classmates. They even let her cut in line - up to a point. They eventually started telling the teacher who mentioned it to me. We explained to the teacher that it was definitely a cultural thing. (Do you recall our stories from Ukraine? Especially the airport? Their culture doesn’t support the idea of an orderly queue.) We also explained things to Rebecca and didn’t hear any more reports of cutting in line after that. The first time we went to church and suggested she attend kids’ church on her own, she was a little apprehensive about leaving us, but has grown to enjoy it. Actually, I think attending a ministry arts summer camp and a Vacation Bible school were among her favorite activities this summer. She and Tim got to attend one week of the arts camp together and they both had a great time. It was held at the church where Dan and I grew up and his mom was more than a little pleased when Rebecca declared “Babushka’s church is the best church!” I think it may have had something to do with a pool party and waterslide…

Thinking back and writing this for you, I am reminded of a saying I’ve heard often from a friend who is a very wise mom of five: “The days are long, but the years are short.” I think it’s especially appropriate as summer draws to a close and the kids and I all look forward to everyone going back to school on Monday. We’ve not quite reached a year together as a family, and sometimes the days are indeed long, but time is moving very quickly and our new little girl is growing and changing right before our eyes. (This is where Rebecca would tell you, “I’m not a little girl. I’m a big girl!”) God truly blessed our family.

Thanks for all your love, support and prayers. We appreciate each and every one.

I’ll leave you with the verse that guided us as we traveled… I think it still fits.
    The Lord says, "I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you." -Psalm 32:8

Picky eater? I don’t think so!

So, after the first week or so of attending school, Rebecca was issued a student ID card. The ID’s are used in the cafeteria to speed up the purchasing of lunches and they make life easier for parents because you don’t have to find $1.80 every day. You can write a check to put money on your child’s account and they just whittle it away… a debit card. Even though I knew it would make my life easier, I was a little hesitant to “load” Rebecca’s account. She’s never had the experience of carrying and spending money herself, so I looked at buying lunch as a learning experience. I also realize, from knowing people who worked in school food service, that elementary school students are not the most efficient at checking out and paying for their lunches, so it is a time saving effort for the cafeteria staff. (I later learned that even if the kids take their money each day they don’t actually pay for lunch when they go to the cafeteria. It is collected by their teacher and processed before they arrive.) To make what’s becoming a long story short, I sent in a check. Rebecca and I go through the school lunch menu at the beginning of each month and we talk about what is being served. Then she decides if she wants to buy or pack her lunch for each day and we write it on her personal calendar. I counted out all the days she was buying lunch and calculated that if we paid for 20 lunches it would take her through the end of March with one to spare. Perfect!

It turns out it wasn’t exactly perfect. Earlier this week Rebecca started telling me she needed money. The conversation went something like this…

Rebecca: Mama, need money.
Me: Why do you need money, Rebecca?
Rebecca: Ummm, Mrs. Schad.
Me: Why does Mrs. Schad need money?
Rebecca: Buy ice cream.
Me: Mrs. Schad wants to buy ice cream?
Rebecca: Da.
Me: Are you sure?
Rebecca: Buy lunch
Me: You want to buy lunch for Mrs. Schad?
Rebecca: No, Mama. Buy lunch.
Me: You want to buy lunch for you?
Rebecca: Yes!
Me: You have plenty of lunch money.
Rebecca: Mrs. Schad… ummm, letter.
Me: Mrs. Schad gave you a letter?
Rebecca: Da

Well, when we went through her backpack that night, there was no letter from Mrs. Schad. I had Rebecca bring me her personal calendar and I double checked the date I had written the check against how many days she had bought her lunch. I even counted it twice! Nope, we’re still good… shouldn’t’ need lunch money till after spring break. Just to be certain I sent her teacher a note and asked about it. Well, after a few days of checking, Mrs. Schad has solved the lunch money mystery. It seems that even on the days that Rebecca takes her lunch, she ALSO goes through the cafeteria line. Some days she gets a side dish, some days an extra entrée, etc. Mrs. Schad asked the girl who sits next to Rebecca at lunch if Rebecca eats all the food and she said, “yes.” Wow!

I guess the good news is Rebecca definitely likes American food. But, now what do we do about lunch? I certainly don’t want her to be hungry and she’s in NO danger of being overweight, but she also has to understand the food is not free and limitless. (I have visions of future credit card debt swirling in my head!) Oh yes, and Rebecca has a negative balance on her lunch account right now…

Happy Birthday, Rebecca!

Rebecca Valentina Myers was born on Valentine's Day 1999 and this year we finally get to celebrate together. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone, and a very happy, welcome to America, birthday, Rebecca. Oh yes, I almost forgot, she received her official certificate of citizenship today... what a great present.

One month home

It's hard to believe we have been home for a month. It is soooo good to be home, even though home is undergoing some reorganizing. All of Dan's office contents (now Rebecca's room) are in boxes in our bedroom and everything from my desk is in our dining room while we install cabinetry and desks for a "family computer room." We can access our computers and the internet while in limbo, but don't expect any scanning or printing.

Okay, back to being home for a month...

There have been many, many firsts for Rebecca and for our family. Uncle Dale has had to avoid sidewalk chalk and a scooter (from a visiting friend) in the driveway and Dan finds he has much less time to sit down. Actually, that part goes for me, too. Last Friday, on a day off from school, Rebecca enjoyed her first trip to Disney World. We would have preferred to wait awhile, but my niece and her boyfriend were in town and were anxious to share the experience. Rebecca could best be described as awestruck - she loved every minute of the day! We started the day slowly in Fantasy Land with Small World, Dumbo, the Carousel, etc. and then moved on to the Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean and Space Mountain. She liked the kiddie rides, but LOVED the roller coasters. Tim and I were both very pleased to see just how much she enjoyed the coasters and early in the afternoon we took the monorails to EPCOT so she could try out his favorite ride - Test Track. At the end of the day, she told us her favorites were the onstage princess show, the parade, and Test Track.

School still seems to be going well and Rebecca loves going each day. She received a "Principal's Award" this week and is doing very well with her phonics. She's working on reading beginner books and has even read a story or two to Timothy. The two of them are starting to interact more and are figuring each other out. They had a sweet portrait taken together Saturday night and have been holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, etc. (Special thanks to Peggy for scanning it and emailing it back to me so I could post it for you.)

We continue to be amazed at how well Rebecca is adapting to her new world and she told us today that she likes it better here than at the internat. She is making new friends and enjoys going to kids' church with some of them. There are still times of adjustment and communication gaps, but we are working on them. I'm trying to get Rebecca to tell us when she doesn't understand something. We find that she listens attentively, says "da" and acts like she understands what you said, but based on her actions we find that she hasn't. (Nothing terrible, just things like "hang that dress in your closet" and we find it in the laundry basket and the like.) Next week we'll attend a meeting at Rebecca's school for the ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) program. I think she'll qualify. ;-)

Thanks so much for all your continued prayers and messages of support. We realize we're living in what's referred to as the honeymoon stage, but are trying to make the most of it and develop good habits. I'll keep praying, too - maybe the honeymoon can last forever? Yeah, I know, 10 year olds someday become teenagers...

Happy February!
Kathi, Dan, Tim, Rebecca, Carey… and Uncle Dale, too

Finally - some pictures!

Immediately after court in Ukraine










On the train from Donetsk to Kiev




























Our first family picture...











Rebecca modeling some new "koshka" (cat) pj's & slippers

Settled in and starting school

Sorry, blog friends... I wrote an update last week, but apparently never posted it. I'll combine it with the one we wrote last night.

January 4, 2010
We are settled in at home! Hooray! Here are the answers to our FAQ's:

Jet lag: Thankfully, we have not had a problem. I think sleeping for four hours a day for 2 days in a row and then being awake for almost 22 consecutive hours on the third day of travel eliminated any sleep patterns. Our bodies were so happy to find beds that third night we didn’t even hear our neighbors’ fireworks. (Those of you who know our neighbors know that is significant!)

Rebecca and Timothy were both very happy to finally meet each other on New Year’s Day. She is enjoying having her own room and bed and exploring all the new things in our home… like water from the front of the fridge, ceiling fans, and showers more often than just on Monday and Friday. Tim is enjoying watching Rebecca play with Carey. (Some of Rebecca’s first English words have been, “Carey, sit!” and “Come here.”) Carey, however, isn’t used to a little person who has seemingly endless energy and is missing out on her morning and afternoon naps. All in all, everyone seems to be adjusting pretty well. Rebecca met our pediatrician for her first visit on Saturday and did very well. She drew extensively for the doctor when asked and accepted her two immunizations like a champ. She’ll need to follow up with a pediatric ophthalmologist (we have one Tim’s seen before), but we are not overly concerned.

A few people have asked about Rebecca’s size… she is pretty tiny. Some of my generous friends stocked her closet before we arrived. Her face was priceless when she saw she had choices of things to wear. The clothes that fit right now are typically size 7, but even a few of those are big and proper fitting shoes are size 3. (There was some confusion about the shoes because we were originally basing our estimates on shoes she wore at the orphanage. Their definition of “fits” seemed to be if your foot fit inside the shoe. We believe that shoes CAN be too big.) Based on reports from others who have adopted, we are expecting to see a growth spurt in the next few months, so we’re trying to shop and plan accordingly. Besides, this week’s weather is NOT normal for Orlando!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Honestly, I didn’t really think I’d still be writing now that we're home, but apparently Rebecca is quite a popular girl and has developed a following. She spent last week “home” with me and did not go to school. We ran errands, went to doctor’s appointments, visited the downtown public library and just generally got her more used to living here. She is doing very well and seems to be enjoying her new life. We celebrated Christmas on Saturday and exchanged gifts with both sets of grandparents. (Side note: Thanks for all your prayers for my dad. He got a “day pass” from the rehab center to come to Orlando for our celebration on Saturday and is going to be discharged this Thursday. PTL!) It took Rebecca a minute to catch on to the process of everyone opening gifts, but once she did she loved it. She even practiced her budding English skills by reading the gift tags and distributing them accordingly. Once all the presents had been opened, she quickly took her new things to her room and organized them thoroughly. Later in the day she got to meet her only local aunt and uncle – my brother, Bobby, and his wife, Angie, as well as Angie’s daughter, Melissa. We all enjoyed visiting and, of course, played a few rounds of Uno.

Monday was a big day at our house. Rebecca started school in the morning and received her new eyeglasses in the afternoon. (Yup, glasses. Thankfully, all the ophthalmologist found last week is that one eye is very, very nearsighted. She was nervous about wearing the glasses at school, but does like being able to see. She wore them today and I don’t think there were any issues.) I took her to Durrance Elementary yesterday (Monday) expecting that we would do all the registration paperwork and then start school today (Tuesday). When her teacher came to the office to meet her, she asked if Rebecca was ready to start. I asked Rebecca what her preference was and she said today. (Actually, she said “sivodnya.”) We got a quick tour of the classroom and then it was “bye bye” to Mama and hello to her new classmates. (I have got to say she is a brave, brave girl. I don’t know that I would have made the same choice knowing that NO ONE spoke a word of my language.) Rebecca’s teacher is Mrs. Schad and she seems wonderful. She paired Rebecca up with two girls in the class as buddies and has already downloaded an app for herself that she is using to learn a bit of Russian and Rebecca can use it in class as a translator. We’re settling in to a routine here at home… Each afternoon, when we get home from school, she has a snack and we work on her homework activities together. (Tim thinks that’s fine. He likes to have some time to himself to stretch out and listen to music after a long day at school and time in his wheelchair.) We also check the school menu and decide if she wants to buy or pack her lunch for the next day, then pick out her clothes so they’re all ready to go in the morning. So far, so good. It’s only been two days, but I’m trying to start good habits instead of changing bad ones later. :0)

Weather note – it’s been at or below freezing almost every night since we came home from Ukraine. This does NOT happen in Orlando. This has never happened in the over 30 years I have lived in Orlando. If it came on the plane with us, I am truly sorry. If anyone would like to take it back, feel free, I can give you the name of a great translator. I, however, am planning to do my very best to avoid airplanes for a while – especially to places that might have snow. Rebecca is actually enjoying the weather. She thinks this is warm and asks every other day if she can go swimming. Just wait until Saturday when it’s supposed to be in the 70’s… she may not believe our answers of “it’s too cold.”

Tim and Carey are still enjoying their new playmate and Dan and I are adjusting as well. We’re taking a bit of time off from our official Saturday date nights for more family time, but celebrated the first day of school together yesterday with lunch at our favorite restaurant. I’m pleased to say that they haven’t closed in our six week absence and the food was still excellent.

We hope you are enjoying the new year and I have started posting some of our pictures from the trip on Facebook. If we’re not already connected on Facebook, please feel free to friend me. I’ll also try to send a link to everyone when I finish the upload process… I’ve gotten to Christmas Eve.

Thanks so much for all your prayers and support!